Sheilaclapkin's Blog;

Before Becky left for New York, she had a conference with her gardener. She told him she needed certain things done and especially some work in the rose garden. He listens intently, and then started. “Miss Becky, I want you to come with me to Bakersfield.” (Hotter than a burnt frittata in those parts, by the way) “I want you to come and have wine on my patio and we can look out at the ocean. (There is no ocean for 100 or more miles. Bakersfield is smack dab in the middle of California) You can marry me. I want you marry me.”

Becky said she turned ashen because this little gentleman is 36 years old and is just a puppy in her mind’s eye. She had to go over this encounter in her mind before responding. She finally answered back, “But you wanted my daughter two years ago, haven’t you found someone else? “ No Miss, I waiting for you.” Your daughter is married and you not anymore.” At least this puppy waited until the body had time to settle.

Becky said, “ I know he is too young and not in my way of life, but I am so flattered.” I said, “Don’t be, he wants ANYONE to marry him because he needs to become a citizen. “Oh, I didn’t think of
that, oh boo hoo, I thought he liked me. “He does, but he will marry a telephone pole if it will give him American citizenship.”

So there you have it, cookie. Hope you are having fun in New York.

Becky is on the plane to New York. It took off an hour ago. She called last night to thank me for the tour of Ross Dress For Less. You see, Becky is a Nordstrom’s, Bloomies, shopper. When they opened Bloomingdales in Los Angeles, I am not kidding you; Becky got a special pass and was # 1 in the door on opening day.

The day we went to Ross, she was wearing one of her charming outfits from, yes, you know where. I am not saying anything against high end shopping, I do it myself, but I do both high and low. Becky had never before stepped into the low end, well, not this low. Not low to me, by the way, I think it is intriguing, exploratory and well suited to any pocketbook. I digress.

I had plans to meet Becky at the front door of the store. She said she would be waiting outside the door in the parking. I told her it was too hot, to go inside and start shopping. I arrived two minutes late and I spotted Becky in the petite section, she says not because she is thin, but because she is short.. She and I had gathered the 8 things you are permitted in the dressing rooms. We started to go over, so I taught her to put them in a cart just outside of the dressing rooms and then, when you have exhausted your 8 try on’s, you can go out to your cart and get the rest. She was so worried about leaving things in the cart for fear someone would take her hard earned choices. I assured her there was a strict code of honor in this store and not to worry that anyone will take anything from her basket.

We got into the dressing room and Becky began to examine each item with a fine-toothed comb. I suggested she start trying on the clothes. Each item was scrutinized. Finally after a number of try on’s later, she stated that the clothes must be seconds and something was wrong with them. I said, “They have to be marked seconds and I don’t see any markings on these items.” “Well,” she said, “Look they are so lopsided on me. Look one shoulder is up and the other is down. Look they go up on one side and down on the other.” After studying the look, I started to laugh. “Hey,” Beck.” I laughed, “It is not the clothes it is you. You are up on one shoulder and lumpy on one side and you stoop over a little bit so the clothes are up in the back and down in the front quite naturally. You’ve got a little belly there, so you have to get pants that fit over the belly ball and will naturally have a little more material in other places.” She looked at the clothes a second time and laughed, too. After all the trying on and the discussions about each garment, I had had it with her. I said, “Buy them all.” For $5.99 and $6.99, you don’t even have to wash them. Just dump them. Never, I am way too practical. But it got Beck going and she bought her summer wardrobe for $70.00, just a tiny speck over the price of her fancy T-shirt from you know where. Teaching Becky about $5.99 and $6.99 shirts and $7.99- $10.99 pants that look really GREAT was a lot of fun for her and for me, too. Remember, if the clothes do not fit exactly right check out the manikin you are dressing. Also, remember if the price is too good to believe, get one size bigger. It is just a little rule and a good one.

Becky’s friend Cici has been dating three, sometimes four men all at the same time. She has been Becky’s guru and confidant during the past few months since Becky’s husband died. I am not going to tell you Becky’s married life was the envy of us all because it was not, but after 30 years, who still judges?

Becky’s friend Cici does the judging for her. She tells Becky, she does not know what she has missed. She says there are all kinds of men out there, good and certainly bad, and then, there are whole bunches in between. Becky has told Cici of the ones she has met so far, and that she is generally thrilled that none of them possess some of the traits he abhorred in her first and second marriages. Cici says these men have not shown their true colors yet. Just wait. Cici dates as many men as will date her. She says she wants to make up for lost time. Becky told me that this philosophy is backfiring on Cici right now. Her 87 year old and her 84 year old are both in the hospital. One is in the Eisenhower and the other in JFK. She visits one and scoots across the street to visit the other. She says she fills her days with hospital visits. This scares Becky. She says so. “ I don’t want to be scooting across back and forth tending to my new guys.” I don’t even want to be driving by one of those hospitals. I spent the last 7 years in a hospital and I don’t want to do it again.

Becky’s new beau is a man who likes to have a drink or two, maybe more, she doesn’t say, but the drinking aspect of the relationship concerns her. She has never seen him drunk or anything of that nature, but he bemoans the fact that when he drinks she takes a drink, too. Cici inquires why Becky should be so worried about taking a drink. Becky declares that she gets to loose and starts to have too much fun. Oh poor Becky, can’t even allow herself to have some loosened up fun. Another thing Becky has decided to do with the one she likes the best is to dump him. Cici asks why in the world would you do that when you are having so much fun and you like him so much? Becky recounts that if she dumps him, he can’t dump her. She likes him too much and thinks he is a player and will play right out of her life. She says she just can’t chance another hurt. We are dealing here folks with senior citizens and to me they both are sounding like teenagers. Oh dear, I remember the teenage years as the roughest of times. My heart goes out to Becky and her friend Cici. “But there for the Grace of God”