Today’s Bits and Pieces: A-16 Customer Service

Dear Customer Service at the Adventure 16 Stores,

I went into our neighborhood A-16 Store as I have for many years. It is located in beautiful downtown Tarzana. It gave me my start many years ago in travel gear and I am semi-famous for my travel style.
I came home today after a very disheartening experience with my hunt in your store for the perfect pair of travel pants for our up coming travel event.
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Today’s Bits and Pieces: My Friend Becky Baker, Butler, Bradley, soon to be Boyle

Another story from Becky. The person who made the comment about getting Becky to sign a permission slip with a Notary in attendance has been requested.

This is the new dating development for Becky. Some former famous soccer player from Canada makes the 2 1/2 hour trip from Los Angeles to Palm Desert to meet her. She stays in her desert home when the weather is nice. It is a blind date, which will turn out to be the blind date from hell. He arrives bringing a wad of wrinkled clothes from the back seat of his silver Cadillac and tells her he will spend the night and then, asks where to put his things.

They sit and talk awhile. He is a miserable kind of person that she does not like, but decides to make the best of having dinner together and then, he can move his arse on out. They have dinner and things aren’t getting any better for Brcky. They return to her place and he is flipping through his wrinkled pile of clothes deciding on what would be best for lounging. B, gets a friend to call and she gets all dramatic. Her mother has fallen, a lie, she has to leave immediately to see about her mother, a lie, she gets out her suitcase, packs clothes, tells the famous soccer player to take his things and shoves him out of the door with her suitcase which she places in her trunk after she locks and seals the house up. She backs out of the driveway waving and shouting bye now. He stares after her. She drives around for 40 minutes, drives back home, pulls her car into the garage, takes out her suitcase, breaths a sigh of relief and never sees Mr. Has Been Soccer player, so far, again. What dramatics are going on in the dating world of my friend Becky? Let me tell you there is more. I will continue with Becky’s escapades tomorrow.

Today’s Bits and Pieces: My Friend Becky Baker, Butler, Bradley, soon to be Boyle

My Friend Becky Baker, Butler Bradley, soon to be Boyle!
My friend Becky Baker, Butler, Bradley, soon to be Boyle has decided to wait a few more months before marrying Boyle, because Browne, the one she really wants, has only been a widower for two weeks and he is too fresh. Even though Boyle wants her desperately in any way he can get her, she is going to wait for Browne.

Becky lost Mr. Butler and Mr. Bradley because of two totally different causes, but has this to say about each husband. She does not mind telling you that Mr. Butler was a thief. Mr. Bradley was immoral as well, but in a more covert way. Mr. Butler was out there and Mr. Bradley was hidden until the day he died and then, every little thing came dripping out before the coffin was even in the ground. Also, before the body was cold and the coffin was lowered, the mortician wanted Becky. He was as desperate for her as she is desperate for the fresh new widower she met a few days prior to Mr. Bradley’s demise.

Becky says yes, she will be delighted to join you and then, close, very close to the time you are to meet, she says she is too tired, too ill, too hot, too frustrated and or depressed, too poor, too busy, too conflicted or just any old excuse that doesn’t even always make sense. But then again, if you know Becky, it makes sense, well to her anyhow. She is not too tired, too ill, too hot, or too anything for the painter, the postman, the mortician, the Rabi and the businessman. She is sometimes fixated and obsessed with herself. It works for her. It gives her time to think. It gives her something to do. She has accepted a date with the mortician and they enjoy most of the day and a small part of the evening. The mortician leaves her at the front door, she is in the house freshening up for the postman, who knocks gently, five minutes later and is received strongly. They go off in his new Mercedes to the Greek Festival, just around the corner: they could have walked, but then how would the Mercedes have an opportunity to play its role. You see, the postman told her he is too poor for the likes of her, but the Mercedes does notify a different side to this poor postman. At least that is the way Becky sees it. Becky and the postman didn’t get it on this time, but there are hopes, desires and further attempts mainly in the heart of the postman.

The next afternoon after the double date for Becky, we attended a birthday party luncheon for a good friend of Becky’s. Becky invited me not out of love & respect, but out of being a ready and willing driver. I thought it would be nice to be with lots of ladies I barely knew. I sat quietly on the sidelines, listening, sipping my tea. A lady-sitting kiddy cornered across from me was prescribed Viagra for her stomach ailments. It was prescribed because it causes increased blood flow and it is hoped that increased blood flow to this woman’s organs would help with her ailments. You can imagine the questions that ensued. She dutifully answered all of the questions. Such as does it do anything for your sex-life? She just rolled her eyes up, winked coyly and smiled as the answer.

I also sat directly across from a gorgeous woman with amazing eyes. I actually photographed them. She had rotator cuff surgery and the physical therapy was too aggressive, so consequently they tore it again. She had to have the second surgery and more physical therapy.

The lady down the row who is too young for Alzheimer’s has it anyhow. She spent a great amount of time, frantically searching for her lost make up kit and her money!

The most messed up looking luncheon attendee brought up that she was retired and cleaning out her closet after thirty years of working. She stated that she had so many interview suits and couldn’t imagine every going on an interview. Becky piped up and stated that she needed them. Imagine Becky in an interview suit. Even if she did wear one, where was she planning to interview?

Another woman is a cancer survivor. Credit is due to a courageous fight. Actually she has had several bouts with cancer and successfully battled and won both times. She is amazing.

Another just lost her husband, but I did not get the cause. Another lady just turned 60 (the birthday girl) and was bemoaning the fact that all she got for her birthday from her live in boyfriend was a Mercedes I.O.U. Not the car because he did not know the color she would prefer. I chidingly said,” What else could you want?” And she said,” a wedding ring.” Oops.

The lady to the right side of me is recovering from hip replacement surgery and needs the other side replaced. She began to tell the story of how her mother spent the night in jail for domestic violence this passed weekend. The woman is 93 and her second or maybe third husband is a decade younger, but frail and recovering from cancer treatments. The 93 year old was tearing at the shirt of her one time beloved because he was taping their present fight, so he would have details with which to commit her to a mental institution leaving him with some peace in his dying state. She tore his shirt and scratched him during the scuffle. He called the police and they came to take away this 93 year old in handcuffs. By the time my friend got to the jail with the bail, her mother had made best friends with everyone in the jailhouse and my friend was told that she should be more understanding and listen more to her mother. Oh dear.

It is interesting because I do not know this group of ladies very well, just slightly at weddings etc. So this was my view and my observations limited and varied only as much as my familiarity and understanding allows. . They are all so nice and what I noticed about every one of them is that they have gorgeous smiles. Good orthodontists and dental hygienists at work.
Don’t know why I wrote this, but I did. I think I am trying to hide form my closets and some of my fears and anxieties. I am on my second bag for the Goodwill. I am going back to their next luncheon and then, it can be someone’s turn to write about me.

Today’s Bits and Pieces: Butt Reducing Pants with no Pockets and no Belt Loops

I bought a pair of pinkish color pants the other day in not such a fancy place. I tried them on; they looked really good and, made my butt look two sizes smaller. They were so great looking and such a moderate price I bought the bluish pair as well. One is good two is better.

When I got it home and really looked my new purchases over, I found that the pinkish pair of pants had no pockets. More

Today’s Bits and Pieces: The Colors of My Mother

THE COLORS OF MY MOTHER

Nearly two years after my mother passed, my father passed. Many of us were helping to clean out the condo and ready it for sale. My niece came upon a bag stuffed full with what appeared to be dozens of scarves. She gave them to me and said she thought I might like to have them. I tucked the bag of colors in my box of goodies and when I came home the first thing I did was to empty the scarves into the drier for a whirl. After 5 minutes I opened the drier door to a shock that went through my body faster than a bolt of lightning. The colors of my mother leapt out of the drier and into my hands. I carried them to the table and continued my astonishment. My mother appeared out of every single scarf and her expressions changed as each scarf was laid next the one that had already given a performance.

My mother liked a preponderance of light brown, the color of caramel and ground spices. She liked to back it with a light aqua softness. She splashed a green color to keep things up front, insuring she would not disappear in the background of softness. All of her colors are background colors to me, but when I look at this bunch I can see that her background colors were foreground colors to her.

She used a golden rod yellow to accent the soft browns, therefore gathering the strength and brightness of sunlight, yet allowed for the softness of sunbeams as they cascade down the scarves giving a prerequisite to the uplifting spirit of caramel and ground spices on overloaded.

As I look at the collection of my mothers colors, there is one slight, almost splash of red. Oh mother are you saying, ‘blood of my blood?” Our blood of each other has created such different entities. Our colors are so very dissimilar. I always knew that, but this experience with your scarves is so graphically explicit. I have hung the scarves on a beautiful hand carved hanger and they intermingle creating an interplay that is expressing to me all of you and all that I knew about you.

I would someday like to uncover a secret, a hole in your character, but that will never happen because you strove to be perfect; you always were and you always will be. I do thank you because I always knew you did the best you could, more because you wanted the best. I know now that we are who we have become through the ages, through the stages and it remains just this way today as well as for those who will continue after us. We have done our best with our soft and vibrant personalities, with our soft browns and our brilliant reds, through our yellows, our greens, your blues and my black. You never wore white, neither did I. If you could see the beautiful colors of you, I would see your precious smile again.

Today’s Bits and Pieces: My Personal Navigational Travel Assistant

A few days ago I bought an up to the minute personal navigational travel assistant for my car that heretofore has not had these navigational capabilities. I spent way too much money on this little sucker and have paid dearly not only in hard won cash, but time, energy and mental abuse.

I opened the lovely little package that said in big letters, THERE will be a 15% re-stocking fee if you open this box. Well, how am I to get the product out and begin to use it if I do not open the box. This should have alerted me or been my precursor to what has followed.

I turned on the personal navigational assistant and waited for nearly 10 minutes for it to find the satellite. Okay, I am on the road now and I want to test this little sucker out. Still searching for a satellite. I am now over 10 miles down the highway, thank goodness a familiar highway. Finally the devise kicks in and it spoke to me. It recalculated and told me to go south, I know I needed to go north. I tried 3 times to get it right. Wrong.

I registered this little sucker. The email I received told me to go to a particular website and download the upgrade to the 2009 maps. This little puppy is brand new out of the box needing an upgrade. I know I followed the download directions. First the download took 4.5 hours. Then the upload was to take another 2 hours, but the message read: Product Name: ( will hereafter be referred to as Product Name in consideration for this highly recommended company and their products) “MAC application cannot be opened because it is damaged.” Oh dear. I called Product Name and waited 35 minutes for them to tell me that I needed to be transferred to a Mac specialist. Okay, another 23 minutes and then, there was a real live person speaking to me. He had me check to see if my operating system can handle this download and sure enough it cannot. My computer is too ancient. Like me. So I asked to have a disc sent. He said the disc will not help in your present computer. I said I wanted to take the disc to a friend, but could not wait the 4.5 hours for the download. My friends would too soon tire of me. He asked me to hold on. He came back and verified my address. He asked me to hold on again, and my PHONE DIED. I nearly died. I am going to hope that he will follow through and send me the disc.

I am a bit disappointed I have had to work so hard and feel so frustrated. I am off to get new phones, off to get meds for my headache and I am going to take my new outdated navigational system with me to see if she works well enough to get me a to the corner drugstore.

LULA DORA MCKISSACK “MAMA LULA” February 13, 1903 – November 6, 1999

I am respectfully submitting the following recipe for DIVINITY because not only is it the most delicious, melt in your mouth candy, but it is also because divine providence brought the giver of this recipe into my life.

Lula McKissack hails originally from Hattisburg, Mississippi, where she grew up on a small backwoods farm. She was given to her aunt when she was 9 years old, by her mother, because she was strong and could do the work her childless aunt needed to be done. She continued to work hard the rest of her life.

Lula left her aunt’s home at 16, married Mr. McKissack, had two boys, Tommy and Bobby, left Mr. McKissack and moved to Louisiana where she built her own home with the help of her boys. Lula’s boys left home early to join the navy and Lula was alone with little means of supporting herself. One of her friends, Nola, found out about two jobs in Los Angeles, California. They both decided to come for the California jobs. Nola came first and since my Aunt Bessie and Uncle Harold owned a jewelry store, had to work long hours, Nola got the job with them caring for their hearth and home. When Lula came, she went to work for our family. I was 9, nearly 10 years old when Lula came to us and she stayed employed by my parents for 19 years.

I remember calling Lula after being married for only 2 weeks, crying that the house was dirty and everything was a mess. I had no idea where and how to begin. She told me to begin in one corner of the room and circle around until I was in the middle and the job would be done. She was right and now, I always know how to begin a cleaning job, actually any job.

Lula added unconditional love, forgiveness and a deep spirituality to our family. She worked miracles in our home and even though she has passed on, she continues to work miracles with our family. Her philosophies of life have been handed down to the next generation like nuggets of gold and her Divinity candy will satisfy your hunger for something sweet and inexplicable.
Divinity will calm your nerves and as you pause to enjoy it, you will feel empowered with all of Mama Lula’s sweet charity and goodness.

LULA’S DIVINITY

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1/2 cup of hot water
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 egg whites, beaten stiff
1 teaspoon vanilla
(I add 1/2 cup of chopped pecans)

In a 2 quart saucepan, combine sugar, corn syrup, hot water and salt. Cook and stir until sugar dissolves. Bring mixture to a boil and cook to the hard ball stage. (a little of the mixture is dropped in a cup of cold water and forms a little hard ball) Beat egg whites stiff. Pour hot syrup slowly over beaten egg whites beating constantly at a high speed. Add vanilla and beat until mixture forms soft peaks. Drop from tablespoon onto waxed paper, lifting and twirling spoon to form peak on top of each mound.

Bits and Pieces: The Penis Plant aka The Century Plant

Okay, so there is a penis growing out of a plant in our backyard. So what, right? Wrong, it is an event. It is exciting; regrettably, it is not really a penis, but a plant called, Agave Truncata or in laymen’s terms, the Century Plant. More

Bits and Pieces: Your Exit in a Box.

From what I have seen of life and death, it is no joke. If you are lucky or unlucky enough, according to how you look at it, to be born there is only one way out once you are here. The way out is in a box. Upon your death, you are put into a box, which is then surrounded by concrete as thick as your wrist. So, as I see it, there is no possibility to escape the confines of this death. In the old antique cemeteries, which are my passion, you can see the earth’s upheaval, cracks, loose stones, showing a means of escape. More

Bits and Pieces: A Day

Everyone has had the experience of sitting in a car repair waiting room. I have had my share. This time there was a recall # 139 and I had to return to the dealership. By the way, my car is 10 years old. I have trepidations when I go into a dealership. You have had yours. I always think they charge the highest of prices and find things wrong on purpose.

The young, very young man at the counter looked at my recall notice and said, “This is an old one,” More

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