Today’s Bits and Pieces: Butt Reducing Pants with no Pockets and no Belt Loops

I bought a pair of pinkish color pants the other day in not such a fancy place. I tried them on; they looked really good and, made my butt look two sizes smaller. They were so great looking and such a moderate price I bought the bluish pair as well. One is good two is better.

When I got it home and really looked my new purchases over, I found that the pinkish pair of pants had no pockets. Okay I will grant you that is not such a big deal, many pants do not have pockets, but in the case of the pinkish pair, the pockets had been REMOVED. I didn’t notice their removal in the store. I guess I was just captured by the smaller looking butt. Who wouldn’t be?

On closer observation, and in the stillness of my own home, I noticed that the belt loops had been removed as well. It was such a good job of removal, it had to be the work of a surgeon. The stitch marks were still there giving the illusion of pockets and the smoothness of none. Even with such expertise, the pants were damaged.

I decided, tiny butt or not, I was going to return the pants. When I entered the store, I went to other side to see if they had another pair of pinkish, butt smoothing, butt reducing pants. The store only had a greenish one with pockets and belt looks in tact, so I put them over my arm and headed for the customer return window. When I presented the situation at the counter, the little girl/lady said, “Oh that is the style.” With styles the way they are these days, I wanted to believe her, but stated, “ I didn’t think so.” She got another person to corroborate her style idea. I said, “ No way because look here at this greenish pair, it has belt loops and pockets.” The two style conscious girl/ladies got the manager, who said,” Well, I don’t think it is the style and I don’t know how this happened. Certainly we will take this back since you have a receipt and you just bought them yesterday.”

When all was said and done, I could not part with the butt reducing no pockets; no belt loops pair of pinkish pants. What am I thinking? I didn’t know, but I bought the greenish pair and kept the pinkish ones. When I got home I made additional surgical cuts on the pinkish butt reducers and put the whole lot in the washer and dryer. When I came to retrieve the pinkish butt reducers, they had frayed in all the right places and finally a real true, cute, stylish pair of pants. They are a one of a kind pair of pants like no other, not to mention I have the bluish and the greenish ones, albeit, the pink ones reduce, reduce, reduce,

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