My Partial Knee Replacement Changed Me Forever!

I had knee replacement surgery recently and am still recovering. You don’t get over it so fast and it is not a piece of cake.  When you walk unaided and the horrible pain that put you in a wheelchair is gone, you are full of tears of gratitude. A friend in London asked if I were going to write about my surgery experience. I nearly bit off his words because I was scared to pieces and too fearful to think about it. Besides who wants the gory details? Not me.  But I did have several experiences worth a mention.

Coming out of anesthesia is a weird trip in itself, but for each of us it is different.  Mine had reduced me to a child calling for my mommy and daddy. I did so want to see them waiting and caring for me.  I wanted them to be there like they always had been. Wanting them was a strong ethereal moment that has not left me.  What did I want to tell them, and what did I want to hear from them?  Did I want them to make it all better?  Did I forget that they are gone, or did I want to bring them back from beyond to tell me how they are doing there? Did I want to be the child, or did I want them to see me now, see that I have accomplished many of my dreams and still looking for more?

The time spent healing and time spent on my own true wavelength is rare time that normally most of us are too busy to ride this wave. As soon as some of the swelling and pain from surgery started to subside, my usual friendly ailments arose and lay side by side with my new frailty. My new wave length became a prominent state of being for a while.  I began to mourn for my youth and who I used to be.  I mourned all of my fears in Technicolor. As I mourned for who I used to be and fit new puzzle pieces of who I am into the old mold, I came to reexamine all that I understand. I became willing to take what I have become and go with it. In a different light, you see the changing hues as a positive addition to the composition and become a little closer to whole.

I could surely go dancing right now, but I think I will wait a little longer to make sure I can fit all the steps into the right synchronization of the timing and be able to adjust the tempo of the overall effect. After all, the knee joints are mandatory for just the right articulations of bowing down and giving thanks for the new ability to navigate the earth on my own.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Gerry Silva
    Oct 22, 2012 @ 12:04:42

    Hi, Sheila! Thank God for modern medicine. If we had lived a hundred years ago we’d be sitting in a chair and still in pain. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Love, Gerry


    • Sheila Clapkin
      Oct 22, 2012 @ 15:40:41

      Dear Gerry, PLus I think the huge sports industry is responsible for helping God with his modern plan to replace joints and speed recovery. Thank you so much for reading.


      • Pat & Dick Swire
        Oct 22, 2012 @ 15:51:05

        Not only did my knee replacement cure the pain, but my bowed leg is now straight, after 82 years.
        Glad the emotions are on the back burner and you will be dancing soon.
        Best wishes from Lake George,
        P & D Swire
        Three Brother Islands
        Bolton Landing, NY

      • Sheila Clapkin
        Oct 22, 2012 @ 16:00:00

        Oh so glad to hear back from you, I do remember you having knee and hip replacement. First I had ever heard of such a thing. So you are my hero, Dick. YOu helped me through the fear and the indecision. I am happy with the getting around again. Makes my outlook on life is much brighter, that is for sure. Have a gentle winter and glad we can keep in contact!!!
        Love and best wishes,

  2. Dina
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 15:04:36

    Can I have the first dance?


  3. Sheila Clapkin
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 16:31:16

    You bettcha. I am almost ready!


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