Now I Know Why God Made Me Tone Deaf

Long ago, in another time, I was kicked out of chorus. Oh how demeaning. I never got over it. Well, actually I never go over it until today. I realize, God made me tone deaf so I would use my words to sing. I do not mean to be dualistic, but perhaps we are all the writers and the singers of this planet. Where do you place yourself? Are you the singer or the writer? Are you perhaps the listener? I was the listener most of my life until a few years ago.

Part of my song:

When I was growing up I had two mothers and a father. That is my story. There was one Jewish mother, one Christian mother and a Jewish father. How did this arrangement occur? My parents needed help in the house and sent for a housekeeper who came all the way from Mississippi.

It was wonderful in hindsight to see how these three people played their parts in the psychological and physical development of three children. There was the oldest, me, a female. Then, a boy came and then another boy. I wish I could ask these boys how this living arrangement played out for them, but alas, they are unavailable for comment.

I can tell you that it was a good thing for me. My two mothers were as different as dark and light, as different as mountains and oceans, as different as Christianity and Judaism, as different as hugs and slaps, as different as fantasy and reality. They did not work off of each other, but worked independently. They were very careful not to tread in each other’s territory. My birth mother was strict and got what she expected from me. She wanted me to be looked upon with high regard and wanted me to be well educated. She wanted me to accomplish more than she perceived herself as achieving. My housekeeper mother modeled behavior that was spiritual, humanistic and kind and she knew that I would follow her lead. She did not preach her doctrine to me ever because she was too respectful of my parent’s beliefs; yet, she imparted the components that were missing in our household.

I am the product of this arrangement.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Emily Goerss
    Mar 01, 2008 @ 23:47:16

    It was a good arrangement, as I know the finished product. Nothing is so basic as pure ingredients. When they are sprinkled with several different spices, a true delicacy may occur. That delicacy will result in enriching the lives of many due to exposure. We thank you for finding your voice and let it ring out loud and clear for all to enjoy.


  2. Diantha
    Mar 02, 2008 @ 11:45:00

    I have two mothers also. I was a sperm donor child of two mothers. They did not tell me until I was 7 and now I am 21. I am lucky about having two mothers, but I am still looking for my father. When I see a guy that looks like me I kind of look really hard. I think I can find him, but now I am getting married, I am busy. I am a singer and a song writer, so I have lots of things you talk about, like two mothers and songs and words. There is a movie called August Rush and I saw it. I saw that finding parents can come true. I dream about singing my song. Thank you and when my two moms and I meet my dad, there will be the song and no more looking.


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