I’M IN HERE SOMEWHERE

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I’m in here somewhere, Mr. McHugh among the pills, the pain, and the self-pity. You mentioned that I had not blogged since the beginning of the year and he came to check out the heap of bones still sputtering with the resemblance of a past life of working in unison with all parts having their assigned place and proper movement status.

Now the well-tracked bones have skipped off track, fractured and are looking to be cement and or restrung. You think she is spouting nonsense, but I assure you not at all.

I am suffering from vertebral stress fractures of the back due to Osteoporosis and the pain has been horrific. Take your calcium supplements and don’t be a know-it-all like me. Not me I am fine, but I am not.   I am paying the price and worried about how long this will continue.

In the meantime let us get on with blogging. Thank you all for asking that I return. I have to climb the stairs to get to the computer a built in exercise perk.

I just received this note from a student from years ago. How lucky I am to read these words. What powerful healing medicine.

Dear Remembered Teacher.

 

You may not remember me but you were my fourth grade (1997) teacher at Calvert Elementary. I came across your Facebook page and thought I would say hello. I am now one semester away from graduating college and of all the teachers/professors I have had, you are one of the most memorable.

I remember making polyhedrons, dream catchers, Indian rain dances, pancakes but mostly I remember reading. We read so many books for a fourth grade class and its sad to say, I don’t remember reading more than five or six as a class until I got to college. I truly enjoyed my time in your class and have always remembered it as “the class that read over 20 books and learned about the birds and the bees.” I hope all is well.

 

 

Auld Lang Syne

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When I was in Kindergarten the teacher used to play the piano and we would sing her repertoire of songs. It was a pleasant time of day when the music surrounded us and our voices rang out with joy. I looked forward to hearing the joining of piano and voices. That joy would not last long enough for me to paste it in the indelible file. I must admit that I was a curious child and always talking and squirreling around. I’d make noises trying to sing along. Being tone deaf is offensive to those who have perfect pitch.

One day the teacher was again miffed with me for something or other. She shook her whole body and then made a lunge for me. My big bow ripped at my hair and my teeth bit my tongue. She shoved me in the little space behind the piano and the wall. She began to bang out my favorite song, Auld Lang Syne. When I say bang out, I mean a hard, loud hammering and a shattering sound effect was created as she pressed her tiny feet on the pedals and her fingers on the keys. That was the most beautiful song and I loved to hear and sing it, but now it has become loud smashing, devastating sounds ever since my stay behind the piano and between the wall scenarios. The space behind the piano and the wall, in my mind has become a personal prison. Some things we never forget and some things continue to effect us in various ways for all of our conscious lives.

With all of that said, sing and be happy. Why not?

HOPE

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Hope is a word when uttered gives you a break in the present time

Spoken as a wish for all future times.

It is a word that is uttered during cherished moments and

as well, for moments yet to come.

Living with hope in our daily lives we give positive energy into the air. Hope rises and melds into the atmosphere.

Hope gives us confidence that all will be well and that we will continue on a righteous path.

When combing your brain for an answer, most likely the word hope will give you several answers to choose from and all leading back to you.

Add the words wish and want to your hope and it gathers more strength.

If you are looking at the past tense of hope, turn around three times and change the word to the present tense and turn around three more times.

Are you starting to think this is crazy? Well, my friend, do it and tell me you do not feel full of hope. Yes, in that order. You may be a little off center for a moment after the circling and then, you are filled with a gleeful spirit.

Yes it is you who is filled with hope making you hopeful. Full of hope is having a clear strong sense of the future for you and yours.

By: Sheila Clapkin

Stop, Become, and Start

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Stop comparing yourself to others. This is generally a source of much unhappiness. Become aware of choosing negative thoughts and change them to positive affirmations. Okay, how does one achieve turning negative into positive. The key: Start to recognize positive side of thinking vs. negative thinking. You are there! Congratulations. In recognition there is grand achievement.

I say Start today with Fragments of Yesterday.

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There is something to be said about starting a new day. You know how you sometimes spend hours planning in the dead of night what you will take on into the new day of tasks not completed in the day passed. I say start today with fragments of yesterday. They keep you glued together and slip into cracks you cannot otherwise fill. All is well and good, but if you do not need to take yesterday, don’t. Baggage is baggage on any given day. Baggage will get in your way. It will slow you down and cause you to drown in the past, which actually is unknown in the future. Tomorrow is the future. You can’t live in it until it comes, so do not dwell too long getting there. Perhaps pack a few fragments on which to build, or not. Just bringing it to mind.

You say how can you live in the future? You can’t, but you can clean up as much of today as possible and let the new dawn begin as much anew as possible. Think new day, new opportunities, fresh start filled with the freedom, plus the power to choose new possible strengths, advantages, and new prospects to heal yourself of past hurts and regrets.

I am the kind of person who takes bits and pieces of other days along with me in case I need to mend together the new day. Adding some of yesterday seems to add strength. So, perhaps, do not be too strict with yourself and carry just a pocket full of the past to sprinkle and share in the future. Power is knowledge, so keep your facts, data, and wisdom near by.

I write to help myself.

Channeling Your DNA

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You have many of your ancestors documented, birth, death, where they were born, where they lived, and their comings and goings from their original birthplaces. You have collected small bits of their lives and encounters. Mostly, you heard their successes and mostly how and where you came to be in the parade. You’ve gathered a few intimate things about some of your ancestors by word of mouth, and from the later ancestors who told stories about certain things.

But what you did not collect was their DNA readings except for the parts that you helped to carry down for the future inhabitants in your own DNA, plus the gift of the amazing particles that tie you to them and all of you to the future.

Since there is no way to bring into view the ancient DNA in reality, you and only YOU can channel it to the surface for inspection. Channeling is new to your game, mine, too.

Let’s try it. If nothing happens we are where we were before we started and your ancestral DNA is genetically in place.

Sit in a spot familiar to you. Reach way down inside and bring out handfuls of micro particles. Bathe yourself in them, spreading them gently all over your self. Do not be in a hurry. Sit for as long as it takes. Soon it will feel like tiny bubbles are popping all over your skin. You may begin to float. Keep in this elevated state. Raise yourself higher and higher, gathering particles as you move upward. Keep placing them all over your self. You reach the top level and with your eyes open gather the scenes. Do not come back too soon. The slower you ascend and descend, the fewer particles will be blown away. They are yours now, so keep them gently for all time. You may return to them whenever you wish and your DNA is freshly preserved.

You may encounter, as the DNA particles fly in your channeling experiences, whiffs and snippets of life long ago. Mine came drifting in as the sounds of an old radio program. It sailed in and across and then out of our bedroom window on a hot summer night. I have never been able to channel its return but other bits have performed. Once a huge bird sailed overhead casting shadows that whispered, “All is clear.” The next channeling experience produced a small girl telling the truth and begging to be believed. Many undertones of soft voices tell fragments of truth in your channeled world. You are pleased to go into the experience with knowledge and an understanding that you are involved in positive vibrations.

I am not irrational and neither are you. We are just tuned into ourselves.

What Gives You Hope, Joy, Laughter and Peace?

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Hope is a word that makes you want to listen. We listen to others who are sounding hopeless and give them our attention and some hopeful words. Their expressions change and you can read that change in their eyes. You chat, the two of you, each to go on your appointed ways when then you realize that not only the stranger gained from your hopeful chat, but you gained as well. Your steps are lighter, smiles stayed on your lips, longer, and you are left to wonder who you can chat with next.

Joy comes packaged inside the brain called the neo cortex, wrapped lightly in disappearing bands, holding the various lobes. This is a boiled down version, but you know how to activate joy by speaking lovely soliloquies to other person who will hear and take it to his or her neo cortex. We get it, yet practice makes it natural.x

You are hoping to work out a little experiment. The next encounter you make will seize and give confidence. The little petite lady who dyes her hair black emerges from the pharmacy scowling. She is definitely not happy. You go up to her and do a little old time jig. She lifts her eyes and dances with you. Certainly this was not expected. You both continue the laughing and end in laughter as well. She thanks you for the enjoyment of the moment and you thank her for yours. Off you both go to share a smile and the laughter elsewhere.

Peace has many and varied connotations. The one I refer to here may be the one you get from smelling the roses. Peace is freedom to enjoy and a lack of fear. Prayers for peace between nations are on record. Peace and peaceful negotiations between people and places on the earth are needed to be able to share our planet with all of its inhabitants. Love strong and share peaceful moments, as your love is the ingredient that glues all of the elements together

 

THE STARE OF EYES THAT HAVE BEHELD

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My eyes have seen crystalline hues

As well as myopic views

Foggy sights do not bewilder them,

And lonely stark, dark nights they do not condemn

Sometimes I remember not day or night

Going all kinds of places in my mind

Let me go and enjoy being kind.

My friends are all gone

And I am alone

It is a new dawn.

I live with song and rhyme

Gives me reason to climb

Heights I can still reach

In my mind are never far behind.

I made promises to my family

And the truths all came forth

And I kept them all to the best of my ability.

None lost to futility.

When I lay me down

All gather round

Put a tiara around my head

And know that I am finally dead.

By: Sheila Clapkin

I’m the Leftover Queen: Are you, too?

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Fancy meals evolve from our out to dinner take home boxes. I doubt whether I would be able to come up with a tasty meal without the spices as well as gentle flavorings of our take home leftovers. When you doubt something, or shall I say when I doubt something, I try to prove myself right and if by chance I learn from the encounter, all the better.

Oh no, I have a refrigerator full of food and shall try to mix and match the ingredients from a number of days of collecting bits of leftover foods. So here we go to making a meal of mix and match.

First I grab the ingredients for a soup. The soup was going to be a medium to small size, but low and behold it became a bigger and bigger pot. This is a yummy sweet soup with a giant satisfying flavor.

Next a little side dish of old fruit that was going to perish if not cooked immediately. Cooked fruit is a delight as a side dish with a dollop of ice cream, yogurt, or sour cream on top.

Next is left over Pad Thai noodles and certainly enough for guests, so guests are invited. Added to the mix warming in an extra large frying pan are the noodles, parsley (fresh), extra seasonings, a tad of leftover rice cooked with onions, added curry seasonings, and 1/2 teaspoon of sugar, and finally add chopped up chicken from take out. Cover frying pan and cook until ingredients are cooked through and through. Then crack six whole eggs in order to decorate mixture with whole eggs all around the pan. Cover and cook until yolks have turned white. Add a little sprinkle of seasoned salt.

I know, where’s the bread? I have leftover bread and cookies from a Hawaiian Restaurant. I mixed biscuit flour, hammered a few leftover cookies, and the bread into a bowl, added Almond milk to desired thickness. Sweet dinner muffins popped out of the oven. Our guest had arrived, and were sipping wine and spreading cheese. The cheese leftover from over a week ago was still bright and cheerful looking.

 

Leftover Dinner Delight: Menu.

 

Wine

Cheese and Crackers

A yummy stew like soup is used as a starter

Cup of cooked fruit topped with Vanilla yogurt. The cup is made out of a small cabbage bowl. Looks lovely and is very filling.

RE-developed Pad Thai Noodles with Eggs and Chopped Chicken

Sweet Dinner Muffins

Coffee

The meal for me was gratifying in the fact that leftovers can make such joyous eating, plus fulfill a nourishing need, and to have created a pleasing meal from leftovers.

 

 

 

 

“Too Bad I wasn’t the ME I am now, 50 years ago”

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“Too bad I wasn’t the Me, I am now, 50 years ago.” Elaine said.

I believed her, and then I looked into her beautiful face and thought if she were any better people would drop to their knees in the streets where she walks. I have considered, contemplated and pondered   her statement for months and have decided, she only half remembers 50 years ago.

Let’s look at this statement closer. If I attached this saying to my life 50 years ago, I would say I had the stay on power of a racehorse. Fifty years later, I have the same staying power, but that of an 18-year-old cat.

I could run circles around myself and accomplish the work of many women. Just me. Yes, true as it was, now I can go in circles not knowing which way I intended to go and when I got there would not remember why I came.

Fifty years ago, I wrote to the wind and thought my letters to friends and family, were the best. Oh these days of maturity and the adding of 50 years bring a new status to what one can and cannot write. Another words, I am now censored by age, and the freedom blowing in the wind is just not in sight as it was some 50 years ago.

Forty-seven years ago, I was pregnant and had 5 children in 4 1/2 years. The twins were the 4th and 5th babies. I just do not fancy being pregnant again, ever! But 50 years ago it was such a grand idea.

Old in calendar years, but in her prime is what the beautiful lady meant. I surely do get that, don’t you?

The “Me” fifty years ago had hopes and dreams etched in my brain. They did come true so they are gone from my thoughts replaced by hopes of other things such as will I get up to see another day? Did we think of death and illness half a century ago? We thought of the health and well being of our babies and here and there for our family members.

I was asked at a conversations party: Can you picture your death? What the… huh? Most answered with a resounding No. The sad part of this question for me is the answer is a resounding yes. I see the same dying scene over and over, so most times I choose not to look.

Fifty years ago I was not afraid of an approaching death, now I am terrified of all that I still have to do, and to endure to get there.

The me 50 years ago didn’t drink coffee. I felt motherly. I felt educated and 50 years later the world has run away with dreams and revelations I never imagined. 50 years ago I had mounds of hair, and now I am lucky to comb it so that the creaks and cracks cover my scalp.

My father wanted to make it to one hundred. He fell short, but he got a lot of good years in saying he was one hundred. He was not lying, my father never lied; he was just announcing hopefulness.

So in hindsight, and in looking ahead, we are the 50 year olds we were then, just 50 years older. In pondering this subject, I realize I am much the same, just physically becoming a bit ravaged and mentally certainly much more anxious than 50 years ago. When you analyze there has to have been much mental processing and physical endurance to get through fifty years. I know in the present scheme of things I do not have another 50 years even if I double them at the end. My hat is off to you if you have had the extra 50 years to deliberate and deliver. Let us grab onto the next fifty and not worry about the statistics. Let us continue on and beyond what was heretofore not promised to any of us.

Thank you for thinking out loud beautiful Elaine!

 

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