Sheilaclapkin's Blog;

Why is the discovery word, the word that begins an extension and exploration into how the word Why fits into your life and how can you use it?

This assignment was given to me by me, and is now driving me crazy. The assignment is to figure out what WHY means to me. So, here are my thoughts over a long percolation period.

Why did I lie?

I was sixteen going on seventeen and I lied. I told my parents I was going to the library to study. Instead my pal, David picked me up for a joy ride. I did not know of his joy riding plans ahead of time. He picked me up at the library and we drove of in a blast of noise and grind. He met up with his car club, and they were all revving up. We drove around the city in a maniacal way. I wasn’t scared, everyone had control, I hoped. Then, it happened. David was speeding beyond control towards the train tracks with the light of the hurtling train bearing down on the road we must travel to clear the tracks. Imagine sitting in the passenger seat, of a ’57 Chevy, train light in your lap and you flying over the tracks just in time to take another breath. I lived, obviously, thankful every day, not that I lied, but for the knowledge of that a lie can cause your demise and or the demise of another innocent. I lied because I didn’t know it then, but I know now, I needed this valuable life and death lesson to carry with me all the days and nights of my life and to be able to teach others.

Why, from the passenger’s seat did I give the guy on my right the middle finger? He was out of his mind with his antics, but I could have done nothing at all. My giving him the finger incited such a rage in him. I thought if he could catch us he would kill us. Skip, my driver and best friend, drove in and out of alley ways, scooted around ditches, handled the curved roads like a champ and spotted a crevice between some trees and a moving van. He inched in the hiding place allowing us to watch the enraged driver going back and forth, cursing, rubbing his nose into his forehead, scratching his neck, and eventually moving on. I thanked God and Skip for the safe escape. Have I pulled the middle finger trick since then? I don’t want to discuss it, but what kind of a fool who has escaped a possible violent confrontation would do that again? Someday I’ll tell you about my Thumb’s Up, Middle Finger gesture. It is fun and gives me some internal release. It appears generally proper.

Why, when I am introduced to an extremely well dressed executive, does my belly do flip-flops and my heart jump a beat? Why? Perhaps, I think he or she better, smarter, and stronger than I. Why do I feel people with all of those capital letters following their names are more informed than I? WE actually may share a broad spectrum of knowledge, theirs stronger in the letters that follow their name, mine stronger in having an “Educated Heart” I’ll share heart education anytime, anywhere. I have noticed people with letters after their names are strong in willingness to share.

Why do I feel lonely sometimes? There is richness of life out there full of people, places to go, things to see, but they are not coming to you or me if we just sit in a corner and lament.

Here are more why opportunities to ponder using the root word why.   Why not? Why should I or shouldn’t I? Why wait? Why not wait? Why now? Why worry? Why analyze the heck out of it? Why did he/she say that?? Why was my mother so shy? Why am I shy? Why do I feel vulnerable in one minute and then on top of everything in the next? Why and how can I be happy and sad in nearly the same breath? Why when something is misconstrued, do I look into myself?

I feel that when you study the why of your life you will begin to know, the what, the how, the when, and the where. Knowing these explorations and their outcomes can give you the boost at any age and stage. You need to create, survive, and nurture yourself plus all of those around you not only for the present, but also for the duration of your life. You will effect as well as affect your existence and enhance your lifespan. I feel that learning the why of my life is not over until I am over, and then, I will take all of this self-knowledge into the spot of ground I have purchased so many years ago. It waits for me as yours waits for you. Thank you for your time and keep on asking why, why not?