GRANDMA DORA AND GRANDPA JOE

28 Dec 2010 17 Comments

by Sheila Clapkin in Family History, Reflections


How can I begin to describe two people who are responsible for a part of my creation and a part of the essence of who they were, which makes me who I am? I will endeavor.

When I look at what I believe is their wedding photo, I am struck by the look of innocence and their sweet youth. I knew them not then, but came into their lives as a descendant, as they came into mine as grandma and grandpa, ultimately my ancestors. All of us entering a timely relationship of granddaughter/grandson and grandparents encounter: Hair not quite gray and bodies beginning their descent. I loved them to pieces and partly because they showed love for me and partly because they are/were part of the architects of my origin. I knew they were to be honored, respected, admired and pursued.

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“A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.”(This is not necessarily always true.)

11 Dec 2010 9 Comments

by Sheila Clapkin in Family History, Life Events, Reflections

Many of you, after reading my post, “Four Daughters” asked me to write about our son. So, I pondered and I have written this for you.

“A son is a son until he takes a wife,
a daughter is a daughter all of her life.”

Well, what if your son does not take a wife, but takes a husband? Then you have something different.  You have two sons.  Now that’s very special!  One son is a lovely, wonderful blessing. But two sons are double the measure. When my two sons work together on my behalf, I have so much love and admiration for them and will always treasure their interest in being there for me.

My two sons look very much alike; they are the same height, approximately the same weight and the same size in clothes. Even though they are not biologically connected, they look and act almost like twins. I can buy a shirt and they’ll both wear it. I ask one for help and they both come.  I ask for sympathy and they both give it.  I ask for love and I get twice the dose. I ask for an opinion and I get two for the price of one. I ask for a favor and I get it twice as fast. And they always offer to pay for everything. I smile lovingly and proudly, knowing I’ll always receive a positive reception. I ask for one of them to drive and they both say with pleasure.  When they visit, one takes the trash out, the other puts a new bag in the can. They work in tandem; they work as a pair.

The two sons are valuable members in our family. They are loving, supportive and kind. They give each other approval to succeed and sustain the efforts of each other. They are priceless. They are double anything that anyone could wish to have in their lives. – Mother

REFER TO PAGE 40 AND STOP WORRYING

04 Dec 2010 2 Comments

by Sheila Clapkin in Reflections, Trials and Tribulations

This photo is borrowed from the internet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A friend forwarded an article from an online magazine.  He said to “refer to page 40”. After clicking through all of the proceeding pages, I finally came upon a self-help article written by an elite psychologist in Northern California.  She said to concentrate on things in the “present”, instead of worrying about things from the past or in the future. It took about a thousand words to say cut out the worrying because it’s just a waste of time anyway.  So if I ever go off on a worry wrath, stop me and say, refer to page 40. I promise to do the same for you.

So, today I am scheduled to speak and answer questions in my grandson’s class. Am I worried? Not really, since I spent 42 years doing this very thing.  Only when I did it, I was the teacher.  Now I am the grandmother. They’re probably expecting a gray haired, hunched-over, and fragile looking old lady wearing orthopedic shoes to walk in the door.  But honestly I don’t know how to look like the grandmother they’re probably expecting.  I would have to return to the hairdresser and ask for my gray hair back. I would have to relax so much that my back would hunch into a fragile curve.  How do you do that? Orthopedics? Get a grip. I do buy my shoes at the travel store, so I’m already halfway to the grandmother status in the shoe department.  Is my voice supposed to crackle and am I to grunt like they probably expect? Gosh, I guess I really do not know how to be the grandmother they expect. So I’ll just be the grandmother that I am.  I’m nicely dressed, I look great for my age, and they’ll get what they get. I shall quit worrying and refer to page 40. I suggest you do the same.

ANOTHER DEAR GRANDDAUGHTER # 1

01 Dec 2010 2 Comments

by Sheila Clapkin in Family History, Growing Up, Letters, Reflections

Dear Granddaughter #1

At the birthday party you said, “When I was little everyone loved me and then, I grew up.” Well, for your information, everyone still loves you only you won’t let us show you. Really? Really.  Start thinking about the people who love you and count them. Probably, you should just look at your Facebook page. There you will find people who are listening. I hope you are listening and reading. I write to let you know I am thinking of you and I love you. I loved you when you were little and I love you just as much and even more now.

I was and still am a sort of wallflower. Do you know what a wallflower is: well, as I remember it and as it was explained to me when I went to a dance and no one asked me for a dance, I was considered a wallflower. Someone who hugs the wall and hopes someone else will ask them to dance. I was thinking last night that I was a perpetual wallflower and I only remember someone asking me to dance after he had been refused by 6 others. I remember that dance so well. I even got sort of popular over it and people talked about how I was such a good dancer.  I guess that time was part of my 15 minutes of fame. I am still sort of a wallflower.

Here is what the urban dictionary says about wallflowers. And I do like these definitions.

-A type of loner. seemingly shy folks who no one really knows. Actually these are some of the most interesting people if one actually talks to them.

Or

“Someone, usually in high school, who sees everything, knows everything, but does not say a word; they are not loners; they are introverted, meaning they are shy and have a social disease; they cannot handle having someone pay attention to them even though they crave it as much as everyone else; wallflowers are just phased in, and faded into the background.”

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