A Closet Story # 2:  I heard tell…

I heard tell that you should ALWAYS buy a good pair of shoes and a good bed because if you are not in one of them you are in the other.

The above telling makes such good sense to me now that I have begun in earnest to clean out my flipping’ closets once and for all.  I begin with the shoes. They were all good shoes at one time or another, but time and wear take their toll. I have to decide which shoes are good to keep and which ones will someone else be happy to have? This little nagging voice in the back of my head says, ‘It’s never gonna happen. You are not going to throw out much today.’  It is not going to happen because I cannot part with any of them. They have given good service. Is that what we do with a good pair of shoes that has given us comfort year in and year out? Throw them out? Maybe? We’ll see.

I also cannot part with the little black blouse I wore under the suit, which is long gone to our daughter’s wedding umpteen years ago. Her first one, may I add. I also cannot part with the suede shirt Skip bought me 10 years ago because he said it looked nice on me It still is not my style and makes me sweat and look large, but still in hangs among the others that have the same qualities. I still think that someday, just someday I will wear the travel skirts I bought, still fit into, over twenty-five years ago.  Oh Gawd. I have looked through some travel purchases and just have to stamp my foot and shake my head. The embroidered vest and skirt from the Ukraine looked spiffy on the ship that night for dinner as did the Peruvian shawl and the Thai pants and jacket. The Norwegian sweater makes me look thin, that’s why I bought it, but it is too darned hot for Southern California weather anytime, ever.

Today is a new day and I am approaching the closets with hope. I do not know what hope has to do with it, what I need is a ruthless person to come in when I am not here and go through and bundle up all of my things. It will only hurt for a little while. Contrary to what you might be thinking, I have thrown out many an item and can only remember one that I miss.  It is a little denim yellow and white skirt. I would never wear it and never did, but to this day it is the single item that haunts me and makes this present day throw out so difficult.

I have come to the interview suits. Who am I kidding? I am retired, never to go on an interview again, yet, the suits hang side by side on the closet pole waiting for the day they will be called into duty. Every one of them needs to be in the give away pile. Next, I get a look at the sweat suits. Let me tell you here that I am NOT a sweat suit person. Matching pants, liner and jacket. No way, so, why are they hanging there?  Thee little sweat suits range from very old, old, medium old and new, and never worn. They are there hanging ready for sweat?  I have no idea what may have possessed me each time I bought one of those things. I do not like to sweat, not at all. What shall I do?  I should probably take them off according to oldness, but that’s not fair. I won’t wear any of them, so why choose any particular one; just toss them all at once.

My pain is great now, so I will take a break for two Advil.

Today, I look toward the t-shirts. No way can anyone wear all of those

t-shirts and who wears a regular t-shirt these days. The shirts people wear have jewels, studs, some form of art or sayings, like: I am not getting smaller; I’m just backing away from you. Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast? I don’t know what makes you dumb, but it really works, or hot sexy mom (sure) and Bi girls are twice as sexy. Mine are plain for the most part.

They were lined up according to color but through the ages they are split between drawers, closets and boxes. Oh this is the worst of it. How many

t-shirts can you toss without collapsing? I will let you know. The answer is 45 and still counting.  I am not taking a break until Baa Baa, I have three bags full.